Monthly Archives: October 2015

Miracles Happen Everyday!

About one year ago, my wife, Debbie, decided to take her niece, Kim, who was visiting from the northeast, on a drive to the coast of Southern California. Besides doing some shopping, they also planned to spread Girls at beach1some ashes, the remains of Kim’s mother who had died months earlier, upon the waves of Laguna Beach. Linda was my wife’s elder sister. She was found alone at her home, unconscious due to a sudden stroke. She died a few days later.

The drive along the coast highway took them through a series of picturesque, beach communities. The mood was peaceful, the journey relaxing as well as scenic. At one point, though, they found themselves waiting at an intersection for a stoplight to change. The cross street to the right was an immediate climb up a steep hill and to the left a short descent leading down to the beach. Everything seemed perfectly normal.

They were stopped in the right hand lane next to one car to their immediate left and another in an adjacent left turn lane. As soon as the traffic light changed from red to green, both of the cars to the left of Debbie and Kim proceeded into the intersection. But Debbie’s car would not move forward. No matter how hard she pressed on the accelerator, the car wouldn’t budge. Something was preventing it from moving forward.

All at once, a large, black SUV appeared, barreling into the intersection downhill from the right. The driver of the SUV never slowed, appearing to have either been distracted or lost the ability to brake. The SUV struck the side of the car that had been waiting beside Debbie and Kim, forcing it sideways to then smash into the car waiting to make its left turn. As they witness the trauma of the accident unfold before them, their car was released, and Debbie and Kim were allowed to proceed on their way.

My wife drives a small, economy car, most of which lies well below the bumper of a typical SUV. If they had been allowed to continue unhindered, Kim would have most certainly lost her life, as the SUV would have struck her at eye level first. As they drove way, both Debbie and Kim knew immediately that the power guiding their lives had revealed itself to them directly.


Afterward, while perusing the boutiques of Laguna Beach, Debbie and Kim met a woman who ran a tiny shop downtown. She introduced herself and then shocked both of them by informing them that they were there to spread ashes at the beach! Taken aback by such a surprising comment, they both thought to themselves, How did she know? How did she know? When I heard this, I knew I needed to find out more.

Months later, I went to meet the woman who ran the tiny shop. I really wanted to find out what she could tell me about me! But I found nothing unusual about her and instead went away considering the day to be quite uneventful. I forgot all about her until a week later when I noticed a small business card sitting on the counter in our kitchen. It was a card my wife had taken from the tiny shop owned by the mysterious woman.

The night before I found the business card, and after struggling for many months, I had finally come up with the book’s title, The Primal Contradiction. And as I looked down at the business card, I realized the name on the card was derived from the same words I had chosen for my title. The mysterious woman from Laguna Beach was the one who actually gave me the title for my book.

Happiness: Is it Real only when Shared?

The Primal Contradiction

I suppose before attempting to explore a claim such as this, I should try to describe my own interpretation of what happiness means to me. It is, after all, an internalized Happy Boy2sensation, quite personal to every one of us. And although we can more or less agree that happiness has a positive effect on the quality of our lives, we have widely varying experiences from which we draw our memories and interpretations of what it truly means to each of us.

For me, the intensity of happiness that I experience correlates with the degree of peace I am given to feel in both heart and mind. It is an expression of self-awareness free of any self-centered interests, a veritable consciousness of the immeasurable depths of oneness. It is the blessing received when we find ourselves neither here nor there, the birthplace of imagination and creativity, and the exclusion of the rational, calculative mind. An ardent emotion absent of worldly concerns, happiness is the spiritual gift we find during meditation.

But I also know very well the sensation of happiness resulting from interacting with other people, the wonderful feeling of elation created when our spiritual energy is shared Meditation3with one another. By joining with others in this way, the very essence of our existence has a tremendously positive impact on us all. We bond together in the presence of the divine. Extending ourselves in this way, we create an energy exchange that is far greater than what one person could ever accomplish alone.

If I say that in my own experience, happiness is most real to me when I am alone, I must immediately contradict myself because I know that I am never truly alone, even when isolated from those who share their lives with me. During those precious moments spent in meditation, I often feel the presence of others, friends that have either gone before me or have simply chosen to help me when I might need them. Their dispassionate yet spot-on messages are sometimes quite clear.

The sense of affinity granted by a spiritual friend in this way has so often produced such profound peace within me that I have come to realize true happiness lies beyond the life we Sunset6know today and that we are merely given a taste of what happiness really is. Thinking that we are alone simply because we are isolated from others may seem perfectly normal to us. We are often taught that this is absolutely so—that we are distinctly different, separated from each other because of our individuality. But what if this claim is only a half-truth?

Perhaps we are nothing more than separate human beings, going about our personal business day after day; but what about the essence of our spiritual awareness? Is this just an ethereal idea
considered unimportant when compared to the claim we place upon our individual humanness? Aren’t we also spiritual beings capable of joining with one another… any time we wish?

From the moment we begin to perceive our role in this world, it seems that we are encouraged to cultivate an individual human identity rather than rediscover the shared spiritual oneness we have always had with one another. We are taught to become specialized as individuals, to stand out from the crowd, and to forget the fact that as spiritual beings, we need never be apart. We are shown precisely how to nurture separateness within our own minds and ultimately contradict the commonality of our spiritual nature.

We are indeed faced with a contradiction the moment we choose separateness over wholeness—a primal contradiction. When we deny that we are all part of an omnipresent divinity, we begin to forget the natural spiritual bond we share with each other.